


Itutulog na lang

by wintertee



Category: TREASURE (Korea Band)
Genre: Infidelity, Light Angst, M/M, Moving On
Language: Filipino
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:20:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29353368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintertee/pseuds/wintertee
Summary: 𝙼𝚊𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚐𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚗 𝚋𝚊 𝚊𝚗𝚐 𝚙𝚊𝚐𝚖𝚊𝚖𝚊𝚑𝚊𝚕? 𝚂𝚒𝚐𝚞𝚛𝚘 𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚘𝚗. 𝙺𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚜𝚒𝚢𝚊 𝚙𝚊𝚐𝚘𝚍 𝚗𝚊. 𝚂𝚒𝚢𝚊 𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚐 𝚔𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚊𝚙𝚒𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚋𝚊𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚜𝚊 𝚙𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚠 𝚗𝚊. 𝙿𝚊𝚐𝚘𝚍 𝚗𝚊 𝚊𝚗𝚐 𝚙𝚞𝚜𝚘 𝚗𝚒𝚢𝚊𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚖𝚊𝚑𝚊𝚕 𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚜𝚊𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚊𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚒 𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚞𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚊 𝚒𝚜𝚊.
Relationships: Choi Hyunsuk/Park Jihoon, Hamada Asahi/Yoon Jaehyuk
Kudos: 8





	Itutulog na lang

Asahi POV

Jaehyuk and Asahi have been together for 7 years now. Tatlong taon na rin silang magkasama sa isang bubong. Life is beautiful when you're with the person you love the most. But what if the one you love keeps on breaking you? 

The couple is living a comfortable life, a house in Forbes Park, two cars and rich bank accounts. Asahi is an artist, he paints and sometimes held exhibits for his work. He does music too but as a hobby lang. Jaehyuk is an engineer on one of the biggest construction firm in Makati. 

Their relationship is accepted by everyone around them, their families and friends have been supportive. Sometimes pinepressure na nga sila magpakasal, Asahi wanted to but Jaehyuk is not yet ready. Asahi felt disappointed a bit there but he doesn't say it, it will come when the time is right, he thinks.

Pero hindi lahat ng relasyon perpekto. Jaehyuk is a bit of a playboy. He's been like that even before they started dating, Asahi knows that and he thought he could change him. Siguro nawala lang saglit nung naging sila but bumalik after 2 years. 

Asahi wanted to walk away in the relationship after learning Jaehyuk cheated on him the second time. Pinatawad niya kase nung una. But hearing Jaehyuk beg and cry in front of him made his heart weak. Bakit ang rupok niya, pinatawad niya ulit. Even though he can't trust Jaehyuk fully he took the risk again. Baka sakaling totoo na magtitino siya.

Apparently old habits die hard.

Jaehyuk got assigned on a project in Valenzeula City and he's been extremely busy. He barely goes home. Lately hindi na rin masyadong tumawatawag at natetext si Jaehyuk sa kanya even though the other is really clingy to him. Nasanay si Asahi na si Jaehyuk ang unang nag rereach out. But now Jaehyuk can't even answer his calls. 

'Maybe he's just really busy?' Asahi thought

Ayaw niya magisip ng masama. Gusto niyang panghawakan ang huling pangako ni Jaehyuk. Pero hindi mapanatag ang loob niya sa mga nangyayari. 

One time Jaehyuk went home really late, looking tired. He welcomed his love with a hug and a kiss, kaso may naamoy siyang ibang pabango sa katawan ni Jaehyuk. 

"Love?" Asahi says and Jaehyuk hums as a reply. 

"I love you" Jaehyuk smiled at his random words

"I love you too" Jaehyuk replied and tightened the hug. 

He knows Jaehyuk only like one brand of perfume, the one he imports from Paris. Alam na alam niyang hindi yon ang naamoy niya kay Jaehyuk. Ayaw niyang magduda, ayaw niyang isipin nang gagago na naman ang mahal niya. 

But the validation to his suspicion came. Yoshi, his bestfriend sent him pictures and a video of Jaehyuk and a man kissing passionately in a club. 

Yoshi was there with some of their college friends for a get-together. He didn't go kasi di naman niya naeenjoy ang mga ganyang bagay. Buti na lang hindi siya sumama kase kung siya nakakita baka nasapak na niya so Jaehyuk.

Nasasaktan siya masyado dahil kahit anong gawin niya, di magbabago si Jaehyuk. He gave him all his love and all his life to him pero kulang pa rin.

He dials Jaehyuk's number immediately. One ring, two rings walang sumasagot. So he just messaged him.

A: Love, asan ka?  
J: I'm sorry love I'm in a dinner meeting, will call you after nalang

Who the fuck does a dinner meeting in a club at 11 pm.

A: sure?  
J: yes love, why?  
A: nothing, I love you.  
J: I love you too

Asahi just can't contain his anger from Jaehyuk's straight up lie. He's very very disappointed but not surprised. He can't help but cry with the realization that Jaehyuk is not a changed man. Once a man fucks up he's gonna do it again and again and again. You get what you tolerate sabi nga nila. Asahi felt like he's tolerating Jaehyuk's actions that's why he's the one suffering now. 

Seven years of being together is still not enough. His love for Jaehyuk is not enough. Hindi pa tuluyang naghihilom ang sugat na binigay ni Jaehyuk sa kanya tapos eto na naman. Nakakapagod na.

Even though he's hurting he wants to listen to Jaehyuk's explanation. Maybe, just maybe there's a loophole. There's a little hope in his heart that things will be alright if he could just hear Jaehyuk out.

Ang hirap naman maging marupok at tanga. 

**

Morning came and Jaehyuk's still not home. Honestly he started packing an hour ago, ready na ang maleta niya. Kung ano man ang sasabihin ni Jaehyuk ready na siyang umalis. He wanted to run away and disappear but he wants to have a talk with Jaehyuk first. 

He heard the door open, he stood up and approached Jaehyuk with a slap. 

"Love?" Jaehyuk looks at him confused holding now cheeks turning red. 

Asahi showed him the pictures and the video Yoshi sent. Jaehyuk went speechless for a minute. 

"So? Don't you think I deserve an explanation?"

"Love, hindi ako yan"

"Hindi ikaw?" Asahi scoffed "I know every bit of you and the video is very much clear that it's you. Dinner meeting? who does that in a club and almost midnight? Ano tingin mo sakin tanga?" Naghahalo na ang galit at pait sa puso niya. 

"Love please it's not what you think it is" Jaehyuk explains

"What I think it is? It is what I think it is! This is not the first time this thing happened, pangatlo na to Jaehyuk!! Grabe ka, nasaan na ba yung pangako mong magbabago ka?" 

Di na niya mapigilan ang mga luha na bumagsak. Hindi na niya kayang pigilan ang sakit na nararamdaman niya ngayon. 

"I'm sorry love I was drunk that time wala ako sa tamang katinuan" Jaehyuk is trying to hold him but he moved away from him.

"Yoon Jaehyuk I know your alcohol tolerance is high, lasing? Ginagawa mo talaga akong tanga no?"

"You know what, I'm done here" He says while wiping his tears.

"If you keep on cheating on me then I'd rather leave. Ayoko na Jaehyuk. Seven years being with you is still not enough. I'm still not enough" He took his suitcase and went to the door. Jaehyuk ran after him and hugged him.

"Love please don't leave me, I love you" Jaehyuk is crying

"I don't think you love me at all. You just like the idea of me, na may mauuwian ka, na may tatanggap sayo sa lahat ng kagaguhan mo, pero alam mo ako pagod na" 

"Also you're asking me to stay but you're acting like I don't even exist, so go and enjoy your bachelorhood" He forcibly removed Jaehyuk's hug and stormed out of their house. 

Asahi drove away with endless tears coming out from his eyes. 

***********

JAEHYUK POV

Jaehyuk is staring at the door for 20 minutes now. Asahi left. He's internalizing what just happened. He got caught again. He wanted to chase Asahi but he felt he doesn't have the right to do so.

'F*ck' He curses.

True, he cheated but last night was the last. Pinutol na niya ang ugnayan sa taong yon. His guilt was eating him up every single time he lies to Asahi.

The video that Asahi saw was when him and that man was almost making out in the middle of the club. He didn't even think Yoshi was gonna be there that's why he was so carefree. It wasn't like he just met the man at the club. That man was his co-worker. 

They've been going out secretly behind everyone's back. The affair started after their department hosted a dinner party where everyone got wasted except him and Jihoon, his supervisor and best friend. Tipsy lang siya that time but not entirely drunk. He was already attracted to that man then but he didn't act on it because he already have Asahi and he promised not to cheat again. 

Pero ang buhay ay isang malaking pagsubok, he was the one who escorted him home dahil gabi na at wala itong sasakyang dala. And when they arrived at that person's condo the other just pinned him on the wall and kissed him. 

Jaehyuk pushed him back but the other dived in for another. Jaehyuk mind went into haywire for a second and kissed back. What happened next was history. 

That man became his drug. He felt addicted. He doesn't feel any guilt at that time when he's so high with that person's touch. 

However the fire to his desires ran out. He told that man they need to stop, he needs to stop. The other know he's already committed but the longer they've been going out secretly the more greedy the other becomes. It was suffocating. 

The club incident? He was wasted that time and the other took the opportunity. They did spend a night after that but again, it was the last. They talked in the morning. Both of them understood the situation, they need to end it all. They need to let each other go. 

But Jaehyuk didn't expected Asahi would end them too. Now here he is, blaming himself and drowning in regrets. 

He knew the pain he inflicted to Asahi, he wanted to find him and say sorry over and over again but he knew used up all his chances. 

The love of his life is in pain because of him.

And he cries because he's in pain too. 

************

Jaehyuk POV

It's been one week without Asahi at home. One whole week of misery. He doesn't feel human. Walang mapaglagyan ang pangungulila niya sa minamahal.

He deserves every bit of pain he's feeling right now. Kung kailan wala na ang taong mahal mo, tsaka mo talaga mararamdaman kung gaano sila ka importante sa buhay mo.

Every corner of the house reminds him of Asahi. 

He missed him. 

His sweet dimpled smiles.  
His good mornings.  
His cooking.  
His hugs.  
His love. 

Everything. 

He misses it all.

And now he doesn't know how to live without him. 

********

ASAHI POV

It's difficult when your life has revolved around one person. Ang hirap huminga kung wala si Jaehyuk sa tabi niya, na hindi niya nakikita, na hindi niya nahahawakan.

Ilang beses din siyang nakipag away sa sarili niya dahil gusto niyang balikan si Jaehyuk. Sometimes he would pick up his keys and go to his car but as he turn on the ignition napapaisip siya. Sa isang banda ng utak niya may nagsasabing huwag na, taman na, masasaktan ka lang ulit.

Oo nga, tama na.

Sa ngayon sarili na muna niya ang pipiliin niya.

Isang linggo na siyang walang balita kay Jaehyuk. He's in his old condo unit. Dito siya dumeretso pagkatapos niyang layasan si Jaehyuk. He also informed his family about their situation. Maraming tanong pero iniwasan nalang niya muna. 

He expected Jaehyuk to run after him that day, but the other didn't. That realization really hit him hard. He feels like he's not worth it. That he's not enough, that he's never gonna be enough for someone. That even though he gave his all and his everything, he can be replaced, he can be discarded. 

Araw araw at gabi gabi niyang iniyakan ang pagibig na hindi siya kayang ipaglaban. 

Asahi then lived the whole month alone. His meltdowns lessened by the day, he's slowly learning to accept that their love can't be fixed with a single sorry anymore. 

The scar this time went so deep he feels like its not healing any sooner. Its like it's gonna be there forever. 

His friends knowing his struggle does their best to make him occupied and happy. Madalas tumambay barkada niya sa condo, si Yoshi, Mashi, Hyuns at Haruto. Kahit may kanya kanyang kasintahan na ang mga ito they still make time to visit him. 

Hyunsuk specifically is careful with his words dahil kasintahan niya si Jihoon na barkada ni Jaehyuk. Minsan nadudulas ito.

He learned from him that Jaehyuk left his work, that he can't be reached most of the time, that Jaehyuk is also hurting. His heart aches, he wants to run back to him. But if he goes back natatakot din siya na maulit na naman ang mga pangyayari.

He can't lose himself again. 

So he just cried. Honestly its exhausting because he's always crying but this is the only thing that can help him release all the pain he's feeling. 

*****

JAEHYUK POV

It's been a month and he's been feeling like hell. He's trying to reach out to Asahi but his number got blocked and all his SNS accounts. He tried going through his friends but he got punched instead. He also called Jihoon for help but he got nothing. 

He knew where to find Asahi pero entrance pa lang hindi siya makapasok. Asahi must've informed the management of the whole condominium not to let him in. 

He got reprimanded by his family and Asahi's parents. They were very disappointed with him and he can't argue otherwise because its true. He was disappointed with himself too. 

Jaehyuk never went to the club or any other clubs again. He threw away his other phone where all contact numbers to his flings were saved. He should've done that years ago but he was a dickhead. 

Hindi na niya alam anong gagawin sa buhay niya, he left work at eto siya ngayon nakakulong lang sa bahay at nagmumukmok. 

How can he survive without Asahi in his life?

Gusto niyang kausapin si Asahi. To ask for forgiveness again knowing he doesn't deserve it. He just want to see him so bad. He want to see if he's doing fine. Gago lang? Oo. Di na gumagana ng maayos utak niya sa panahong to. He felt like his life stopped when Asahi left him. 

He can't erase the things he did in the past but he want to be better. Gusto niyang baguhin sarili niya, para kay Asahi. 

He was in his room, laying in the bed and deep in thoughts when his phone buzzed. His face lit when he read where the message was from. 

Amore 🥰

Let's meet up at xxxxx tomorrow 1pm. Please be on time. 

There's an ominous feeling in the message but he ignored that because finally he's going to see the man he's been missing so much.

He want to make it right this time and he prayed to all the gods for another chance.

He wouldn't waste it like how he did in the past. 

****

ASAHI POV

He's in the resto 10 minutes before the arranged time. He wants to be prepared first. Whatever happens today, he would walk out alone, hopefully. Sana matatag siya ngayon kase baka kapag nakita niya si Jaehyuk rumupok na naman siya. 

He heard the door to the private room opened. Jaehyuk came in looking as handsome as ever but he lost a bit of weight. Asahi was worried for a second there but shook his head and erased the thoughts. He shouldn't be caring about the other anymore. 

"Hi" Jaehyuk says and smiled

"Hi" He says doing his best not to falter with the sound of his voice. 

"Let's eat before we discuss some things" He continues 

"Okay"

They ate in silence after, not a word was said and all he can hear are the silent chewing of the food and their breaths. 

After eating, Asahi was the first one to talk. 

"I'm leaving the country, I won't be telling you where I'm just telling you I'll be gone for a long time. The house, its yours, I'll have my lawyer arrange the title so that It can be transferred to you- " Asahi states not even flinching 

"Love wait-" Jaehyuk voice is breaking so does his heart

"Don't call me love, we're not in a relationship anymore" 

"I'm sorry Asahi, I know I don't deserve you and your forgiveness but please give me one last chance" Jaehyuk reaches for his hand but he removed it right away 

"You know Jae, mahal pa rin kita pero hindi yun sapat para bumalik ako sayo. Kase kapag nakikita kita, naalala ko yung sakit na binigay mo" 

"Nakipagkita lang ako sayo out of respect to the years we've been together. Huwag mo na akong habulin, huwag mo na akong guluhin. Nakapagdesisyon na akong bitawan ka, whether you give out another set of promises today or not." 

"Sa pitong taon binuhos ko lahat sayo, Ikaw at ikaw lang naman ang minahal ko. Ikaw parin ang pinili ko kahit ilang ulit mo akong dinurog, kahit masakit. Pinili kita kesa sa sarili ko, kaya siguro naubos ako" 

"Sa ngayon hayaan mo muna akong piliin ang sarili ko. Mahal kita Jaehyuk pero sa ngayon sarili ko muna ang pipiliin ko at hindi ikaw" 

"Kaya sana palayain mo na ako" Asahi finishes. 

He didn't even stutter. He's proud of himself. And he sees Jaehyuk infront of him ugly crying. He can't be fragile now. Tapos na siyang umiyak, tama na ang luhang binuhos niya sa pagmamahalang hindi na niya kayang isalba. 

"I'm sorry, love, I'm so so sorry please don't leave" Jaehyuk cries his lungs out and Asahi shed some tears with the view

"Your sorry is not enough to erase all the pain you gave me Jae" 

"I know but I want to make it right please Asahi. This time I'll make it right" Jaehyuk holds on to his arms

"And this time Jae my answer would be no. Please respect that." He stood up removing Jaehyuk's hold

"Please live a happy life without me" He says and then walked out the door. 

********

TIME SKIP: FOUR YEARS LATER

*********

Jaehyuk POV

Jaehyuk stood in the window and watched at the buildings below from his office. His day is very busy and he wants to run away to breathe. Four years have passed since he built his empire. Nagtayo siya ng sariling construction firm and its been really successful ever since. Overflowing projects, awards and recognition from everybody in the field.

As much as how successful his business is, its contrary to what his life right now. It's empty and sad. He's still longing for that person. Four years and its still him who holds his heart.

All this time after the breakup Jaehyuk did change for the better. No more parties, no more hook ups. He just drowned himself with work and nothing else. He's single for four years now. His friends is in awe how he's like a whole new different person. 

If only he have the power to go back in time, he would and punch his younger self and tell him to make better decisions in life and not lose the love of his life for good.

Asahi went to Japan, Osaka to be specific, after their last conversation. Jaehyuk knew because they had still some common friends. Hindi na niya hinabol si Asahi not when he asked for that. 

Asahi continued his dream in Japan. His paintings were the talk of the country, he held exhibits too. He also started producing music and its amazing. 

Pumunta si Jaehyuk sa exhibit ni Asahi one time pero hindi na siya nagpakita sa isa. He just looked at him from afar and whispered how proud he is of him. 

Seeing Asahi happy with his life now ayaw na niyang makigulo. His heart aches but he knew he have no right to pursue him again. 

So he settled with loving him from afar. 

Maybe in the next lifetime. 

********

ASAHI POV 

Asahi is genuinely happy with his new life in Japan. The people around him makes his life better. And his work is making him busy too. 

The pain hurts less now. Four years have passed and he can say he's healing. Sometimes when goes to the sea to watch the sunset he remembers Jaehyuk. He loves sunsets specially when the sky is painted orange. 

Jaehyuk. He missed him. 

Those seven years with him was not entirely bad. Most of it were happy moments. Jaehyuk did make him feel love most of the years they were together. Kaso mas nangibabaw yung sakit na binigay ni Jaehyuk kaya nagpakalayo muna siya. 

For four years he had no news of him. His friends never mentioned him whenever they visit him here in Japan. They always ask how he is doing and it makes his heart full to have friends who can protect and take care of him. 

He's good now, he's healing, he's fine being single and happy. He never fell in love again, more likely he couldn't make himself to. 

Maybe in the next lifetime.


End file.
